Most of our elders advised us when we were young that you are who you surround yourself with, but we never listened until our friendships took a wrong turn. You might have thought that’s just another quote or something you find written inside a fortune cookie.
But there’s actually a great deal of wisdom and reality associated with this term, and understanding it sooner is better.
You can even find examples of this from all around you; success isn’t hanging out with people who didn’t make it. Like minds not only think alike but also stay together and affect each other positively or negatively
Another way to think about this is that people develop habits and interests according to their surrounding objects. If canvases and paints surround you from the start, you’re more likely to have a love for art.
But why even think about who surrounds us and why be choosy? Isn’t that rude? Well, the answer is no. Selecting your group is actually important, and there are many reasons why. Selecting your surroundings is also an important part of personality development.
Let’s see the logic behind why you are who you surround yourself with and dive deeper into adopting this mindset:
You Become Who You Surround Yourself With
The phenomenon of “you are who you surround yourself with” is not binary. It’s not as simple as “If you have four rich friends and a hardworking one, you will eventually become the sixth.”
It’s not this simple because abilities, thoughts, and desires can not be completely transferred. If you think hanging out with a group of nerds will guarantee success in your upcoming exams, sorry to burst your bubble, but it wont.
Your social circle does direct your actions, doesn’t change how you view the world, and doesn’t change your potential but does influence it, and sometimes the influence can drive you in this right or wrong direction and is enough to change your world.
Hanging out with low-value people may affect you negatively because the limited potential, poor mentality, pessimistic attitude, and excuse-making may become contagious.
Why are you who you surround yourself with?
Let’s dive deeper into the dilemma and find out why you are who you surround yourself with. Why is your personality so dependent on other people?
Reason #1: We easily pick up attitudes.
The main reason why you are who you surround yourself with is that attitudes are contagious. You are also influenced by the people you associate with. You’ll be likely to follow the crowd and live life more purposefully if you’re surrounded by people who are driven and hungry to improve their lives.
Being around people who have low self-esteem and don’t think they can change who they are, will cause you to unknowingly start thinking the same way.
Friendships help us feel as though we belong in this world, which is something we all desire. We rely on one another for survival, feeding off of each other’s enthusiasm, ambitions, and even differences.
Reason #2: Man is a Social Animal.
Another justification of why you are who you surround yourself with is because man is a social being. As much as one claims to be independent, he needs a society, some group, or people to survive.
There’s this fear of being isolated that not everyone will admit that they have. But it is, in fact, in the back of the mind for everyone. The urge to fit in and be a part of the clan makes people do things they wouldn’t if they had another social circle.
Reason #3: We like labels.
We like putting labels on others and also on ourselves.
If you are into book reading, you would likely join a book reading club.
If you are interested in music, you will become part of the school or university band.
We join societies at the university according to our interests.
In the same way, we surround ourselves with people with common interests. But the thing is that only one interest doesn’t define a person. Maybe the book reading club you’re in most of the time has snobbish people, and you’re slowly turning into a snob without even realizing it because it’s normal for you.
So whenever associating with people, always look at the whole book because it is easy to be misleading if you’re judging a book only by its cover, and keep in mind you are who you surround yourself with.
What Types of People Should You Surround Yourself With?
We have stressed enough that you are who you surround yourself with, so here are the 7 types of people you should have in your company:
1. Ambitious Individuals
Ambition gives people the internal motivation they need to work toward long-term objectives and, once they’ve achieved some success, to keep setting new ones.
If you surround yourself with ambitious people who have big goals and want to do something with their lives instead of watching Netflix all day long, you will be more likely to adopt their ambitious attitude and excel in your life.
2. People Who Don’t Just Plan But Act:
People with brilliant plans abound in this world. However, it is the doers, those who put their strategies into action, who fulfill their objectives and translate their work into progress. The doers set goals for themselves and deadlines to achieve those goals.
Surround yourself with people like this. They will motivate you to overcome procrastination, take action, and steadily progress toward your goals.
Surround yourself with good people; with positivity and people who are going to challenge you to make you better.-Ali Krieger
3. The Troubleshooters:
Challenges and difficulties are inevitable. You’re bound to get stuck at some point in life.
It’s easy to give up and cry in these situations.
What’s difficult is to actually face the problems and adversities head-on and take steps to overcome those with courage. People who do this are more likely to get to the finish line first.
If you want to be such a troubleshooter, it’s beneficial to surround yourself with such personalities with bold courage and problem-solving skills.
4. People With Common Goals
You’re more likely to achieve your goals if you surround yourself with people who have common goals as you. They will inspire you to continue with your hustle instead of giving up. Your schedules will match theirs, and you’ll be less likely to stray from your tasks.
Finding people like these and convincing them to stick around would be an easy task since they probably have also heard about the saying you are who you surround yourself with and are looking to do the same.
Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.-Oprah Winfrey
5. People Worthy of Being Called Role Models
Surrounding yourself with people you admire and look up to will gradually make you absorb their qualities and incorporate their lifestyles and mindsets into your own.
People with a winning mindset, people who are go-getters, people who have high moral values, and people with a positive mindset are what your role models should be.
6. People Who Strive to Move Forward
You should surround yourself with people who never settle. Such people are never satisfied with mediocrity and keep working to achieve a place at a higher level than what they are now.
People who are striving to achieve greatness in your company will make you want to be as hardworking as they are.
People who strive forward are also optimistic. Surrounding yourself with optimism is crucial as well because our social interactions influence our mental health as well.
7. Genuine People Who Are Not People Pleasers
Although you can get a fair deal of work out of people if you please them, you can never progress yourself and improve on your behavior if people around you are always applauding you, knowing you’re not at par with your capabilities.
Surround yourself with genuine people who give honest advice, who aren’t negative but are supportive and want to see the best version of you!
Surround yourself with good people who encourage and love you. There are always ups and downs, no matter how successful you are.-Liana Liberato
Where to Find These People?
So, we know it’s important to surround ourselves with positive people. But where do we find them? Here are some tips to help you start your search:
1: Find The Location
Where do all the intelligent people hang out? Definitely not at the bar. You would probably find intelligent people in a bookstore or a library. People who value literature are generally more intelligent.
So what to do if you want to be smart too? Simply surround yourself with these people and learn how they spend their time!
2: Speak To People
As much as we all dread opening new conversations, it is the only way to get familiar with new people once you find them. It seems hard, but it isn’t impossible.
Start by saying hello, dig through some compliments and then get to the real normal conversations!
3: Dig Out Your Current Socials
Not all fingers are alike, and if you think the group you plan to leave is filled with people you are trying to avoid, think again! Someone might just be like you, has heard of the saying that you are who you surround yourself with, and is searching for a way out as well.
Dig out your current social groups, and you might find good people. It is much like searching for the gold out of the coals.
“You are Who You Surround Yourself With” Ending Quote
Surround yourself with really good people. I think that’s an important thing. Because the people you surround yourself with are a reflection of you.-Aaron Rodgers
Always keep in mind the two sayings, birds of a feather flock together, and you are who you surround yourself with. Although you can’t control the people in your life, you can choose who you want to be close to and who you want to have a significant impact on you.
To progress, associate with the most driven and successful people. This decision will help you develop a strong mindset, motivate you to work hard to achieve your goals, get to where you want to go, and live a happy and fulfilling life.